War in the neighbourhood

Climate crisis, pandemic... we have faced new challenges in recent years. As the anxiety caused by the coronavirus is being eased, a new concern has arisen over the Russian-Ukrainian conflict.

I have heard from several of my patients in recent days that they fear war in our neighbourhood, fearing for themselves and their unborn children in the event of an escalation. The subject of a third world war has also come up more than once.

"This is not why I fought for years for this baby to arrive in this world."

This was the sentence that finally made me decide to write this article. I want you to be able to draw strength and hope from it in difficult times. I will give you practical advice on how to keep calm, how to assess the situation realistically and what to do with tension and worries. It's a terrible thing that Russia has invaded Ukraine and my heart breaks for innocent people.

In this article, I am addressing those who are very anxious about the situation and who are continuing to spin the story in their minds up to a possible war, or a third world war, involving Hungary. Unfortunately, in my psychological consultations, I find that in many people anxiety has increased to such an extent that it is affecting their mood, quality of sleep, etc.

Make yourself aware that at this point your fears and negative visions of war for our country are in your head. While in your mind, in your thoughts, World War III is about to break out, you are perfectly safe here in the present. Look around you, connect with your surroundings, let yourself feel the walls of your home around you or go for a walk and listen to the spring birdsong. If you're in the mood, use someconscious presence technique, even your walk can be a mindful walk known from mindfulness.Ground yourself, use some of the my techniques to calm your nervous system of which the Instán mI have fallen for you.

Make yourself aware that, although the Russian-Ukrainian conflict may well be the start of a third world war, it is not, but the chances of that are very slim! Of course, none of us are psychics, me neither, but it may help if you are aware of the concrete arguments and facts inside yourself. What's really going on that isn't in the headlines of the sensationalist articles? Although my own heart breaks for the innocent people who are now fearing for their lives in Ukraine, I believe that, since Ukraine is not a member of NATO, we do not need to fear a world war. What we really need to prepare for is not war, but the consequences of the Russian-Ukrainian conflict in Europe: a brutal rise in gas prices, a disruption in grain supplies, inflation and the emergence of refugees in the east, who we need to help.

Put the events in historical perspective! If you are reading this article, you have been to war in Ukraine in your lifetime. How did you feel about it? Did World War III break out?

Look very carefully where you get your information! Make them aware that news portals make their living by making the headlines of their articles as eye-catching as possible, and that their main goal is to get as many people to click on the article as possible. In this situation, scary, anxiety-provoking headlines perform best, exploiting people's insecurities. What I would suggest is that you learn to be selective about where you get your information from, and only open credible sources for ten minutes every few days if you are prone to anxiety. Feel free to take a media fast, helps a lot! If you find yourself with a lot of news on social media and it makes you feel bad about scrolling Facebook, consider hibernating your account for a while.

Connect with your family and friends, have someone close to you with whom you can share your fears, but make sure you choose a balanced, calm person with whom you don't just get more worked up! Talking now only works for people who, like you, are trying to find balance and move forward in their lives despite their anxieties. You may need to spend less time with people around whom your anxiety is intensifying.

Write down your fears. Write them out of you! Putting your fears into words can help you let go of them by putting them into perspective, into narrative. Take 15-20 minutes a day to write down your thoughts in a journal. Write down how you feel, whether you feel anxious and, if so, what triggered the anxiety. Reread what you wrote weeks or days ago and see if what you feared has happened. React to yourself, correct anything that seems irrational from a distance. For example, if you wrote, earlier, "I'm afraid to leave the apartment/house/city because I'm so afraid of the virus/disease/war/people that I just want to stay home and leave everyone alone" then you might question that thought. "I accept that I can't control what happens in the world by not stepping foot outside my home. I can only control my own day, but I can do that!" Also write down your positive thoughts or resolutions, for example "I go outdoors every day, even if it's for a short time, and just go for a walk around the neighbourhood. "

It's a simple technique if you don't want worries hanging over your head like a black cloud all day.Time the minutes you spend worrying, talk to your negative thoughts, that they can come and you will be with them, but not all day, only between 7 and 7:10 pm. The more you fight the negative thoughts, the more they will cling to you. If you don't fear them, but realise that they are just thoughts, not reality, you have already made a big step forward in dealing with them properly. There's no need to run away from them, just communicate your boundaries to them (ten minutes in the evening from 7pm is theirs, the rest of your day is yours) and stick to them consistently.

Realise that you are your fears may be more of an internal one, and not necessarily caused by external circumstances. There may be deeper, underlying fears behind fears about war that are not at all related to the current foreign policy situation.If you often find yourself worrying about large-scale events over which you have no control, it may be helpful to consider whether there are areas in your life where you feel you need more control.

Take care of what you can influence! If you are a mere mortal like me, you don't stand much chance of sitting down with Putin to discuss his plans. But there are some things that are well within your control. Make sure there is no war in your personal life. Neither with yourself nor with others.

Be active! Instead of letting fear paralyse you, take the proactive route. You can do something! Get involved in anti-war activities, write an open letter, join anti-war organisations. See where and how you can help. Donate to the right organisations! With elections coming up, you can exercise a sense of control here too. Vote for candidates who are well versed in international diplomacy, who you trust and who are sympathetic to your ideas and plans on the issue.

Take care of yourself! Eat healthy food, get enough sleep, get regular good air and exercise. Take care of yourself, because you are important and looking after your body is a key pillar of your mental health. Remember: self-care is not selfishness! Learn stress management and meditation techniques, learn to relax, I'm happy to help you with this in my consultations if you don't know these techniques. You can find some of them also on my Youtube channel.