Today I've prepared a sensitive topic for you, which you won't read about elsewhere. This topic is practically taboo most of the time, like everything else related to femininity, female sexuality, menstruation, pain, illness. But the question is very important: how does your illness affect your relationship with your partner? After all, it makes a difference what kind of support you have in your fight against endo. Like so many things, it's much easier if you can count on more than just yourself.
Generally speaking, many relationships break up during the long, bitter months and years of illness.
I don't deny that it can be difficult to be there for a woman with endometriosis, even in the most difficult moments. Often, these men are not waiting for a hot dinner, but a messy flat, a wife, girlfriend or partner lying in bed, tormented. Unfortunately, we are dealing with a disease that has a major impact on a woman's quality of life and negatively affects it.
It's hard to cope at work, in the home, in relationships, in social life and who knows how many other situations when you're in excruciating pain, bleeding profusely and many other inconveniences. (For other symptoms, see previous posts.) In addition, you often have to deal with all of this unpredictably, in the most unexpected situations. It is impossible to plan any kind of programme in advance, because you don't know if you will be able to go at all.
Your loved one will be anxiously patting you on the back for a while, but what about the 20th Saturday night spent at home, in pain or rushing to the emergency room? What if the medical costs far outweigh what you can afford, will the resulting tension and conflict eat away at your love in the long run?
And another major source of problems: what about sex life?
A healthy man has sexual needs, it's perfectly natural. (Just like a woman, it's perfectly natural)
Most affected women are often tormented by the thought of how long their partner can bear the fact that, due to the disease, intercourse is accompanied by pain and bleeding again and again.
How long can you tolerate that you don't even want this on your back right now? How long can you tolerate following a special diet in the hope of recovery, not being able to have a nice meal with you, not being able to go out for a nice dinner with mutual friends? How long is it interesting that your thoughts are constantly focused on endometriosis, that you can't even talk about anything else? As you can see, it is not easy to be a partner in such a difficult situation, and I have listed here, without wishing to be exhaustive, just a few of the possible conflict situations.
You can do a lot yourself to make sure that doesn't happen.
When you're well, dare to go out, don't let fear hover behind you like a black cloud. Show yourself and your partner what the woman he or she fell in love with is like. Illness is just a short phase in your life, trust that you will get through it and better days will come. If you're sincere about it, you'll radiate to those around you that all will soon be well, you can make plans together, where you'll travel, what life will be like.
Don't hide the fact that if sex is painful, he'll sense something's wrong, if you're honest, at least don't start going on about how he's definitely not attractive to you anymore, that's why you're less enthusiastic. Try to find other solutions, look for other positions, be patient in this difficult transition.
While you're mostly preoccupied with illness and recovery, preparing for surgery, deciding on medication, becoming health conscious, dieting and doing yoga, your partner's life is going on as usual.
Help him to connect with your new interests! Show interest, listen and sometimes talk about his problems. Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying that you should pretend and try to ignore your situation, just that you shouldn't let yourself sink so low in a sea of self-pity and despair that you don't notice when something important is happening with your partner.
This is good not only for your partner, but also for yourself, because if you can see the beauty in life, you won't forget that you have something to fight for.
Oh, but I would never do that, that I don't pay attention to it - of course, not on purpose, but the endo wheel of fun, if you're not careful, can suck you in hard in no time. It can happen to anyone, even the most super partner, in such a trying situation. If you notice it or your partner tells you, be able to correct it and dare to speak up, ask questions, speak up.
Tell them what's difficult for you, what you're going through, what you're going through, where your thoughts are, and encourage your partner to do the same. Discuss any problems that arise, try to find compromise solutions that work for both of you.Although communication may sound like a thousand broken bones, there is something to this key phrase, as words can be the bridges between seemingly distant worlds, holding you together and making your alliance even stronger.
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If you do all this and he still hasn't stuck by you, believe me, it's not a shame. In fact, it's easier without him.
I wish you from the bottom of my heart that you have someone to hold on to in the fight against endometriosis.
Back in the day, I wrote an open letter to everyone's favourite LowCarb Cocoa Slug Baron, who made a degrading comment about the female body. It is very appropriate, I suggest you read it and you will see the context. Endometriosis doesn't kill a relationship, it just makes it harder for a particular stage of life. Problems can be solved if there is the will and love on both sides. HERE you can read my open letter, a stand for the men who refute the Baron Baron Cacao's theory every single day.
Because despite the little voice inside your head that sometimes tries to tell you otherwise, it's not right at all. No, you are not a failure, you are a miracle! HERE in this article I also tell you why you are even more super than your pre-endometriosis self, how much you have improved and how much you have already solved.
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